Chapter 2
I heard footsteps approaching, the door opened and a woman stepped in. She said "Hi, I’m Dr. O'Connor and you are?"
"Joseph Men" I answered in a hoarse whisper.
She asked, "How old are you Joseph?"
"I’m 13, almost 14," I answered and blushed. Here I was 13 years, old in a room with an adult female, and a stupid little gown on that left nothing to the imagination.
She noticed, smiled and asked, "Would you like a blanket to cover yourself with?"
I nodded shyly and she opened a drawer in the dresser and pulled one out for me. Unfolding the blanket, she placed it over me and stepped back and smiled down at me. Then she asked me if I would like some water.
I said, "yes please."
She smiled and left the room saying, "I will be right back with it." When she came back she handed me a small glass of water and put a pitcher down on the table next to me.
"Now" she said, "I need to ask you some questions Joseph."
Oh God, I thought what am I going to tell her. What if they send me back, all of this will have been for nothing. I could not help it I just broke down and started crying.
She just looked down at me with such kindness in her eyes and said, "Don’t worry Joseph, nobody is going to hurt you anymore. I just need to get some information to help me help you ok?" There was something about her that just made me want to trust her. She had the kindest eyes I had ever seen and I found myself opening up to her. I told her about being outed and being beaten up so badly for it and how my father was always using me for a punching bag.
The whole time I was talking about it I just looked down at the bed. I was just too embarrassed to look at her. When I looked up she had tears in her eyes. She did not say anything for the longest time, just letting me cry. When I finally stopped, she squeezed my hand and told me that everything would be ok.
She then asked me how long had it been since I had eaten or had anything to drink. I told her it had been six days since I had eaten and almost two days since I had anything to drink. Looking down at my hand with the IV in it she said, "That is the reason for the IV, Joseph. You were severely dehydrated. In fact, you had passed out there by the sign. You are lucky someone saw you laying there."
I looked up and asked, "Am I okay?" and she smiled.
"Yes. We are replacing your fluids with the IV and you should be back to normal in a couple of days."
Then she told me that a man named David would be coming over later today to speak with me. When I asked her why, she just gave me a kind look.
She said that he would be able to help me deal with everything that had happened to me. She noticed right away that I was scared. She smiled and said, "Don't worry honey. He's here to help you. He would never do anything to hurt you. Anything you say to him will stay with him. He will not tell anyone what you tell him, until you are ready."
I looked up at her and asked, "Can I have something to eat? I am kind of hungry."
She laughed and said, " Well how about some soup for now? It will help get some liquid in you and not be too tough on your stomach." Then she left telling me she would be back with some soup in about 15 minutes. As soon as she left I remembered about a dozen questions I had forgotten to ask her.
I was so tired that I drifted off to sleep waiting. The next thing I knew, I felt someone shaking me and calling my name. Opening my eyes, I was disoriented for a second and scared. Then I focused on her and remembered where I was. She smiled down at me and carefully set the tray on my lap. She had made me some chicken soup and there were saltine crackers on the side. There was not much food there and I guess she saw my disappointment. She looked at me and said, "You need to take it slow honey. Your system needs time to get back in shape. You can have some more if this stays down ok and you feel like eating." I thought to myself, as hungry as I am I could eat a dozen bowls of this soup. But when I started eating I could barely finish the soup and had not touched the crackers.
Looking up at her in confusion I asked, "What’s wrong with me,
Dr. O’Connor?"
She looked down at me and said, "You have not eaten much at all, over the last week have you?"
I started to reply and just lost it. I could not hold back the tears. She just put her hand on my back and gently rubbed it saying, "Its ok Joe. It will be all right."
When I finally stopped crying. I told her that in the last week I had half a sandwich and a candy bar on Monday, then the soup today. "What day is it?" I asked.
She said, "This is Sunday morning."
I told her for the first week on my way here I was able to get food, sometimes because someone felt sorry for me. I hesitated and felt the tears starting again. But I was determined to get through this. With the tears rolling down my face, I said, "And other times I did things for them and they fed me or gave me money. But then I had no way to shower or stay clean and nobody even wanted me anymore.
Nobody would help either."
I was crying harder now as the memories flooded back of what I had allowed those sick men do to me. I felt so dirty and sick inside and without warning, I lost what little I had eaten. It seemed that everything was fading around me. I could hear Dr. O’Connor’s voice but it seemed to be a million miles away. I was curled up in my own vomit in the bed and I did not care. Somehow it seemed right. I was worthless; this was where I belonged. I would never feel clean again.
Gradually, I became aware of things around me again. Some time must have passed because it was now dark outside. The only light in the room was a small table lamp next to my bed. While I was passed out, someone had cleaned me up and changed my clothes. I only knew this because I was now in a pair of sweats instead of the hospital gown. This thought caused me to blush knowing that someone had done that for me. Then what had happened came crashing back to me and I began to cry. Those feelings were overwhelming me. The pain and anger were just too much. I had nothing to hold onto and they were just too powerful to deal with.
Hell, I could not even control my tears much less my own life.
Just then, the door opened and a man walked in. He sat down beside me in the chair and with a calm voice said,
"Joseph, I’m David, the guy Dr. O’Connor told you about. She asked me to come by and see you. I know you have been through some tough times and you are hurting inside right now. If you would allow me, I am here to try and help you come to terms with what has happened."
Looking up at him, I wondered, could he really help. Does he mean it or is he after something like those other men. That thought caused me to tighten up inside and move further away from him to the edge of the bed.
He noticed this and said with a calm voice, " Joseph, don’t worry. You are safe here, no one is going to hurt you or take advantage of you."
I looked up at his face and saw compassion and acceptance. There was no judgment or revulsion like I feared I would see. Somehow that made me feel better about myself. He did not hate me for what I had done to get here. He was not sickened to be around someone who would allow others to do those things to him for money. For the first time I felt a tiny bit of hope. Hope that I could be accepted, maybe even loved and wanted some day.
David and I talked for some time about my life at home. What it was like and what happened to me when I was outed. His voice was so calm and soothing and before I knew it, I had told him everything. When I finally finished I was crying and felt so drained, but somehow I felt better. Here was someone who listened to me and did not judge or condemn me. In fact he pointed out over and over, it was not my fault that others had treated me so badly. I wanted to believe so desperately but somehow deep inside I could not.
David then told me he was going to call some friends to come over and talk to me. He told me, in order to make sure I was safe and taken care of, he had to call the Judge and the Sheriff. Then he told me that he had to give them information so they could start the ball rolling on setting me up with a foster family.
He was watching me as he said this and quickly added, "Don’t worry Joseph."
" They want to help as well. Remember you are in Baysville. This town is not like most towns.
In order for you to stay here you will need to be placed with a foster care family and custody will be transferred from your family to the local jurisdiction." He paused and said, "Don’t worry Joseph."
" With what you have told me, I don’t think we will have any problem getting it done."
About an hour later two men came into the room.
They pulled up chairs next to my bed and introduced themselves. The Judge was the first to speak he said "Hi Joseph, I'm Judge Bondi. Don’t worry son. I know you have been through a rough time. I want you to know that we have made arrangements for you. You will be staying with a foster family when you get out of Dr. O’Connor’s care."
I looked up as the sheriff spoke. He said, "Hi my name is Rich Restless and I’m sorry we have to meet this way Joseph. I wanted to come along tonight to meet you."
By this time I was fading fast. It had all been too much for me.
I could not keep my eyes open. David noticed and said, "I think that’s enough for one day guys." They all stood up and left, talking about some bar they were going to. When they were gone, silence was all that was left. I began to drift off, and for the first time since that awful day when I was outed, I was feeling hopeful. Here I was accepted for who I was, not in spite of who I was. Tears were rolling down my face but this time they were tears of relief, my gamble had paid off. This place was real and I belonged.
When my eyes opened two things hit me right away. It was morning and the birds were very happy about it. The other was that I had to piss so bad it was a wonder that my bed was dry. I started to call out for Dr. O’Connor then I realized that my usual morning problem was sticking straight up as well. Oh God, I thought. Now what? Call Dr. O’Connor and die of embarrassment or wet the bed and die of embarrassment? What a choice! Here I was trying to decide between wetting the bed and being mortified when the problem was solved for me. Just then Dr. O’Connor came into the room and I blushed deep red. I could feel my face burning so I knew it was obvious. Quickly I pulled my knees up to my chest and bowed my head. I was too embarrassed to even look up.
Then Dr. O’Connor spoke and said, "Do you have to go to the bathroom Joseph?" I still had not looked up and she said "Don’t worry Joseph, that is a perfectly natural and normal thing to happen. It is not anything for you to be embarrassed about." That was easy for her to say! She said "If you can wait just a minute I will get this IV out off your hand an I will help you walk to the bathroom." She asked, "will that be ok Joseph?" I nodded shyly. She held my hand straight and then pulled off the tape that was holding the IV in place. Quickly pulling the needle out and wiped it down with an alcohol swab. Then she pushed down on the area with cotton gauze and told me to take over pressing on the area.
The whole time we were walking across the room she held onto my arm. When we arrived at the bathroom door she asked, "Joseph, do you need me to go in with you."
Not looking up and dying of embarrassment, I said, "No thanks, I can handle it."
That comment made her laugh and when I realized what I had just said blushed even more. Quickly, I stepped inside the bathroom and shut the door. I heard Dr. O’Connor say, "Don’t worry Joseph. I will wait right here by the door. If you need me just let me know."
Throughout the day Dr. O’Connor kept bringing me soup and crackers. As the day wore on, I began to regain some of my strength. She even let me spend the afternoon sitting in a couch watching TV and napping. She only asked me to give her a call first if I was going to get up. Since it was that or the bed, I quickly agreed. But I was beginning to chafe under the constant care. This was my second day in Baysville and I had not even seen anything outside of this room yet.
As the evening wore down Dr. O’Connor came in and said, "Ok Joseph. Time to hit the sack. I have a long day ahead of me and I need my sleep and so do you."
Then she said, "And by the way, you can leave this little prison tomorrow afternoon." She laughed at my guilty expression saying, "I know you are ready to leave here and explore your New World. Don’t worry I understand.
I just want you know that I will be here for you. There are many people here in this town that will go out of their way to help if you will let them. Please don’t shut them out." She looked so serious. I just nodded and reached out and pulled her into a hug.
The next afternoon Rich Restless the sheriff and a man I did not recognize came to see me. Rich turned to me and said, "Joseph, I want you to meet the mayor of our fine town of Baysville. His name is Dave Eggman." I was a little tense trying to figure what the mayor of the town would want with me. Rich laughed and said, "Dave, I think he is a little puzzled. Why don’t you two talk a little while and I will check with Dr. O’ Connor on a few things."
Looking up, I asked, "What should I call you, Mayor, Your Honor or what?"
He said, "For now, how about just Dave. That is my name, Joseph."
When I looked at Dave the first thing I noticed was that he really focused in on you. He was not just talking to talk, he really wanted to know about me.
He asked me about my likes and dislikes and what my life back at home had been like. I could see the hurt in his eyes when I told him about what I had been through.
I felt myself being drawn to this man I had just met. He really cared and I could tell. He did not seem to mind in the least that I was gay, that I was screwed up and crying all the time. He just accepted me as I was. This made me feel so sad and I started to cry.
Dave looked at me and said, "What’s the matter Joseph?"
Answering I said, "What’s wrong with me, why do they hate me?"
Looking at me, Dave said with a firm but kind voice, "Joseph, what happened to you was not your fault. None of it was and I promise you it will not happen again." I looked up in surprise hearing the feeling in his voice. He really meant it; there was no doubt in my mind at all.
Before we could go any further, Rich and Dr. O’Connor came into the room. They pulled up chairs next to the sofa and sat facing me.
Dave then said "Joseph we have a question to ask you. We have some options for your foster care and we want your input on it. We have a family who we could place you with. They have two sons who are about your age. However I would also like you to consider another option. If you would like, you can come and stay with me Joseph." I did not have to give it much thought at all. Dave was the father I had always wanted but never had. There was something about him that let me know I would be safe with him. That he would love and cherish me and protect me, not use me or mistreat me.
Looking up I said, "I don’t have to think about it. Can I stay with you Dave?"
He gave me a grin and said, "Of course you can Joseph."
© 2001, Joseph Men