Chapter 33

When Matt called me over to the table I was still a little on edge. Like Matt I was more than ready for some peace and calm. But the look in Roberts’s eyes took me right back to my time on the street. Right then I knew that I could not turn my back on him.

I did not know if Matt and I could handle any more stress right now but I was determined to help him.

When I found out that he was 17 I breathed a sigh of relief. As we were talking an idea began to form in my mind. He would be able to get a job. The trick was finding him one that would allow him to still go to school. The last thing I wanted for him was to just survive trapped with no future. I knew that I could not afford to give him the amount of hours he would need to live. But if he could work part time at Sally’s and part time at my shop he could pick up the hours he would need.

I excused myself from the conversation after making sure that Robert was keeping it together. Then I headed over to Sally’s to talk to her about the situation. There were several options for low cost rooms around town. When I had worked crisis intervention we kept a list of available low cost housing for this type of situation. As usual she was in back doing paper work. I grabbed us both a cup of coffee and headed back.

She looked up, gave me a smile and said, “Thanks Joseph I needed a break.”

I smiled back and said, “Your welcome.”

We sat there for few minutes just sipping our coffee. We looked forward to this time. There was always so much going on with running a business, and a few minutes of quiet, was great to help recharge our batteries.

I looked up at her and as usual she just looked exhausted. Every time I suggested that she go to the Dr. she would just shrug it off.

Seeing how tired she was I almost did not ask her about hiring Robert part time. But I knew she could use the help and it could make a great deal of difference to Robert.

I said, “Sally you mentioned that you needed an evening dishwasher. Are you still looking for someone or have you filled the spot.”

“No I am still looking. It is not easy to find someone who will work that hard for what I can afford to pay. I know that it is hard dirty work but I can’t afford to pay but so much. Sometimes I get so frustrated Joseph. I can’t keep employees because I can’t afford to compete with the larger chains or retail stores.”

“I know. Even in my situation I have a hard time making ends meet and I don’t even take a salary. The large book chains operate on a profit margin far smaller than I can. They depend on volume to make up the difference. It is impossible for me to make a profit competing head to head with them. That’s why I have made the changes that I have. I am trying to make myself different from them. If I give the customer a reason to come to my store they will. Zack has come up with some great ideas and I really hope he will work with all through college. He really is a good kid.”

I paused when I realized that I was rambling.

“Sorry for rambling so much it’s just that I have a lot on my mind right now. Now a kid has come to Matt asking for help. He is gay and his family is kicking him out. That’s why I was asking about that job. I can’t afford to hire him on full time but I can give him a few hours each week. I figured that if you had the opening you could possibly give him a few hours as well.”

As soon as she heard that he was going to be kicked out of his home she went straight into mother mode.

“The poor boy. How old is he. Where is he going to stay?”

“He is 17 and we are working on that right now. I only mentioned it because remembered you were looking to hire someone.

His mother gave him till next weekend to get out of the house. But that might not last. They don’t seem like the most rational people I have ever met.”

“So he does not have a place yet?”

“No. Matt and Timmy are helping him look for a place. There are a couple of things we are looking into. But we don’t have anything concrete yet. That’s why I was interested to see if you had filled the position. I know you can’t afford to pay him a lot but I figure if you could hire him part time and I do the same he should be able to make it. I know it’s not a very good solution but we both know that the city is not going to let me take him in.

Oh they will make all kind of excuses but the bottom line is it won’t happen. They could not do much with Matt; we are related, with all the proper paperwork. It would be a whole different ball game with a kid kicked out of his house.”

“She bit her lip and said, “I know Joseph, and it makes no sense. It seems like they would rather have the kid on the street instead of being safe in the house of a gay man.”

Sally said nothing for a moment then said very quietly, “I would like to meet him. If I think it will work he can stay with me, goodness knows I have enough space.”

Shocked I looked up. Because of what she had gone though with the loss of her son I had not even considered that she might take him in.

“Sally I did not think of that being an option. You know if you do take him in it’s not going to be easy.”

I could see that she was a little offended and that was the last thing I wanted to do.

So I said, “All I am saying is that you should think about it before you commit yourself.”

She nodded and said, “Joseph I know that you are concerned about me and I appreciate it. But this kid needs help and I am in a position that I can help. I am not going to just sit back and say what a shame. Neither one of us would have had to go through what we did if someone had taken the time to help instead of just wringing their hands. I’ll be damned if I am going to be like that.”

I sighed and said, “Ok Sally I will arrange a meeting between you two.”

She reached out and took my hand and said, “Joseph I know you are worried about me. But I am fine. If anything this might be a way to help myself as much as Robert.”

“What do you mean?”

“The restaurant has become my whole life. I need something else in my life. I need to feel connected again. If he comes and lives with me he can save up his money he makes working and use it to attend community college when he graduates from high school.”

“Yeah it would be a better solution at that. You let me know after meeting him. If you want to go ahead with it then I will tell him. That way he is not disappointed if it does not happen. I will let you know when he can meet with us.”

 

“Thanks Joseph.”

 

“Your welcome Sally.”

I leaned over the desk and gave her a hug and said, “Just remember that I am here and we can talk anytime you want.”

She started to cry and I held her for a moment till she regained her composure.

She softly said, “Joseph I can’t tell you how much our friendship means to me. There have been so many times that you have helped me go on.”

“You have done the same for me Sally. That what friends do for each other.”

“Maybe that’s what supposed to happen. But we both know that it does not happen that way very often.”

“I know.”

She dabbed her eyes with a tissue and said, “I’ve messed up my makeup again.”

“Then she laughed but there was more than a touch of bitterness in her voice when she said, “Like it matters. Nobody would notice anyway. Its like they can’t really see me.

You know I have not been on a date since my husband left me.”

I kept silent because I did not know what to say and I knew that she did not really want a response. She was expressing her feelings and frustrations. It was one of the things that made us such good friends. We both knew when the other just wanted someone to listen. 

We finished our coffee in silence. Then I said, “Sally I have to head back. I will let Robert that you will be meeting with him tomorrow afternoon.”

I got up to leave and she stood up as well. When she came to my side of the desk I gave her a hug and said, “Sally, don’t ever forget that I’m here for you. I know that you say I have been there for you. But we both know that you have done the same for me many times.

When I got back to the store, things had picked up, so I was tied up for a while. Before I could get away I saw Robert walking towards the front door. Calling to him I hurried over and said, “How did it go upstairs?”

“I did find some things that were helpful. Thanks Mr. Brooks.”

 

“Your welcome Robert. Listen I have someone coming over to meet with you. She might be willing to offer you a job. It would not be all that fun but it would bring in money. The best part is that you would be working evenings and weekends. That way you can still attend school.

Are you interested?”

He smiled and said, “That would be great Mr. Brooks. When do you want me to be here?”

“How about 4:30 tomorrow afternoon?”

“Sure!”

I could see that he was beginning to believe that he could make it through all of this. You could see it in his eyes. It was not going to be easy. In fact it was going to be a lot harder than he thought.

When you are not in the situation you cannot understand the toll it takes on you. But he already had far more support than most kids in his situation had. I just hoped it would be enough.

I watched him walk out of the store and you could see that he had a bounce in his step that he did not have earlier. Turning back I went to my office and put in a call to my attorney. He was not in of course since it was Sunday but I knew he would call me back first thing Monday morning. He was really good about returning calls.

After I finished up some paperwork I headed upstairs to fix dinner. My damn arm had finally begun to feel better. It had not healed as fast as the Doctors had thought it would and I am not the most patient person on the planet that is for sure. All these years I was used to be independent and not relying on anyone but myself. The time I spent recuperating had really been tough on me. I had to rely on Matt and Zack to get things done and that really bugged me. I knew that I should just chill and relax but that was easier said than done.

I had gone back to the Doctors on Friday and he had cleared me to go back to a normal schedule. No one was more relieved than I was. Though I would bet that Matt was relieved. I am sure that I had worn thin on his nerves by now. Like I said I am not very good on relying on others.

When I got upstairs Matt and Timmy were on the computer chatting with some of their friends. As I walked by them I heard Matt laugh at something that one of the guys typed.
I smiled; it was good to hear him laugh. He had turned the corner.

I had not realized how much I was missing before Matt came to live with me. Now when I came upstairs it was to a place that was alive not cold and dark. I used to dread when the store closed for the night. Because I would go up to my place and it was so empty. Sure my books helped to keep me occupied but it was a pale imitation of what life could be.

As I looked in the pantry for some inspiration on what to cook I found myself saying a small prayer of thanks for Matt coming into my life.

It was not just the fact that I had someone else there in the house. It was much more than that. Watching Matt had shown me how much I still had to do to.

Without some reference point we cannot gauge how we are doing.

My meetings with the therapist had given me new insight into my life. Some of what I learned was not pleasant. What I had taken as signs of strength was in fact denial. You can’t just bury things and pretend that they don’t affect you. I had gone to a therapist for the most obvious things. But had left the more painful aspects buried. Now we were getting into matters of trust and why I avoided relationships. Sometimes I walked out of my sessions so mad that I swore I would never go back again. But I always did. After the anger would fade I realized that Dr. Connor must be onto something or I would not have gotten so angry. Even though I had always known on a surface level that I avoided relationships I always had some excuse ready. It was too inconvenient or it would complicate things and ruin a good friendship. What I had really been doing was avoiding getting hurt again. My conscious mind knew that these were not the same people. But my subconscious did not. At least I had now recognized it, and that was an important step.

After I had decided on supper I went in to talk to Matt and Timmy. They were both excited that Robert might have a place to stay.

Matt looked at me and said, “Thanks for helping him. I know that it is not easy being reminded of things.”

Then I turned to Matt and said, “I could say the same thing about you Matt. In fact I am very proud of you, for doing what you have. No one would have faulted you if you had just turned him down. You have gone through too much already. But you did what you thought was right.”

He blushed and I could tell that I was embarrassing him so I stopped for a minute then said, “Matt hon I am very proud of you, just make sure that if it gets to be too much that you let us know. Ok?”

He nodded and said, “I will, I promise.”

Then I turned to Timmy and said, “Timmy you have gone above and beyond the call of duty with this. I am very proud of both of you.”

I figured that I had embarrassed them enough for one night but I had meant what I said.

I left them and went back into the kitchen and started dinner. As I worked on dinner I could hear Timmy and Matt laughing typing away with their friends online. Moving around the kitchen preparing dinner I caught glimpses of them. Timmy as usual was holding Matt in his lap. There was something so natural and so protective. Timmy truly loved and cared for Matt and I knew that it was mutual. They were both very lucky to have chosen so wisely so young. I did not know if it would last forever. But I hoped that they would.

I pulled the spaghetti sauce out of the freezer and put in the microwave on defrost. Then put the water on to boil for the pasta. With that done I sat down with a cup of coffee and my newspaper that I had not had time to read all day.

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© Joseph Men 2005