Chapter 35
It was around 10:00 AM when my lawyer called. I asked him about my idea of us meeting at his place to fill out the paperwork, and he agreed.
He was going to be out of the office the rest of the day so I was going to leave him a message as soon as I found out the details.
Zack was taking care of the store so I was spending some time catching up on things in our apartment. With everything that had been going on my world had been turned upside down. So I needed to take some time and get things taken care of. It only took me a couple of hours to get things back into some kind of order and I felt better afterwards.
Today was an early release day so I headed out at 12:00 PM to pick up Matt and Timmy. When I got to school they were waiting out on the sidewalk. They were talking with Robert and he waved to me as I pulled up.
Matt walked up to the car and said, “Uncle can we give Robert a ride to the store? He has some stuff from his house in his book bag and it is kind of heavy.”
I looked over at Robert and said, “Sure it’s not a problem. Hop on in we have plenty of room.”
“He looked relieved and said, “Thanks Mr. Brooks.”
They all climbed into the car and we headed back to the store. I was able to get a parking place down the street from my store. I tried to leave the spaces in front of the store for customers when we were open. As they headed to the store Matt turned and said, “Uncle where do you want Robert to put his stuff?”
“For right now why don’t you put it in my office. That way we know it won’t be disturbed.”
When I went inside the boys were all gathered at the counter talking. When I walked by the poetry area I saw what they were talking about. There was a young gay couple sitting there, talking. Even I was a little speechless at their choice of attire.
On the street and later when I had friends who were drag queens I had seen almost everything that could be worn. But these two would have stood out just about anywhere.
One was about 6’3” and slender with dark hair. He was wearing knee high wading boots, short blue gym shorts, black long sleeve sweater and a little girls white Easter hat.
I had noticed that a lot more youth were gender bending with their choice of clothing. For the most part it seemed that it was the college students. At least it was youth from the college at my store. Usually it would be an item that from a cultural point of view “belonged” with the opposite Sex. Most of the time it was part of an effort to say “You can’t put me in a box. I am who I am.”
He was gender bending, they both were. His partner was around 5’ 6” with light blond hair. He was wearing platform shoes with silver tips, a suite about 5 sizes too big, and a derby hat. He had topped it off with a huge red bow. The overall effect with him was to make him look like he was a small kid playing dress up.
It was kind of amusing to watch people’s reactions to them. Most of the customers did a double take and then tried to pretend not to stare. But they were failing miserably.
All the while the couple were pretending that they did not notice the stares. However it was clear to me that they were eating it up. I had to admire their style. It reminded me of the attitude that all the best drag queens have. The more over the top the better it is.
That was their attitude and they were just daring anyone to say something. I admired their courage and the fact that they were going to do what they wanted and dress like they wanted.
When I looked over at Matt he was staring with a bemused look on his face. When he looked over at me he said quietly, “Why?”
Zack walked up just as he asked me and he answered, “Matt they are friends of mine from school. They like to make a statement when they go out. They don’t hide who they are and take a lot of flack about it. Back in high school they made up their minds that they were going to be themselves and have fun at it.
You would be surprised how many people feel threatened by how they dress. They cross gender boundaries and that really makes some people uncomfortable. People like you to fit neatly into boxes. In other words they want you to be easily identifiable as male, female, gay or straight. Transgender people or anyone for that matter who acts or looks outside of the box bears the brunt of societies disapproval. It is sad that the GLBT community is not immune to this. Of all the people on the earth we should understand that merely being different is not bad or something to be afraid of. These guys even caught flack at our college GLBT group. It got so bad that they stopped attending. They decided to stop by here and check out our meeting place. They are both 19 so they could meet with us till they turn 22. I hope it works out for them. It is hard enough in the outside world without us turning on each other.”
When Zack finished Matt and Timmy looked embarrassed and both were looking down. Then Matt said, “Zack your right. I’m sorry.”
I broke in and said, “Don’t be embarrassed. Just learn from it. It is important to figure out who a person really is, not what shows on the outside. If all we look at are the flashy clothes, the color of their skin or how they act then we are missing out on who they really are.
I know what I just said sounds preachy but as a gay man or woman it is very important. If the Gay community allows itself to continue to be fragmented by our own prejudices then we will never achieve equal rights.”
Timmy looked up at me and said, “Mr. Brooks I never thought about it that way before. I guess it is kind of stupid of me to be looking down at those guys when there are so many people who look at me the same way. I get mad at them when they do it. Then I just turned around and did the same thing.”
He looked disgusted with himself and that was not what I was trying to accomplish with them so I said, “I could not have said it better Timmy. But don’t feel bad; fears and prejudices take time and work to overcome. The important thing is that you have realized that you have to work on it.
Everyone has his or her own pet peeves and dislikes. The important thing it not to let them control us.”
I noticed that Robert looked completely lost. I think he had led a rather sheltered life with his conservative family. That was all going to change now. I figured that he was going to have some adjusting to do.
I turned to Robert and said, “Let’s go into my office you can put your things in there and we can talk over some things.”
He grabbed his book bag and we headed into my office. After we were seated I asked him, “Robert how did it go at your house last night?”
Well I took your advice and brought out some of my stuff. I grabbed my spending money I earned from my part time job last summer. Its not much all I have left is $150.00 that won’t get me far at all.”
“He looked embarrassed and said, “I brought out some stuff from when I was little. I also grabbed my coin collection. I figured I could sell it and maybe get another couple of hundred out of it if I had to. The rest is just odds and ends that I did not want to lose.”
“I’m glad you were able to get some of your things. I think you should save the money you have there. You will be working with Sally and I will have some part time work for you as well. Hopefully you will be able to save enough so when you graduate you will be able to go to the local community college and then from there to regular college.”
“I hope so Mr. Brooks. It is kind of weird though.”
“What is?”
“It was only a couple of days ago I was sure that I was going to end up on the street and now I am talking about going to college. I can’t begin to thank all of you for what you are doing.”
“Robert you don’t have to thank me. I have been where you are right now and it’s the least I can do to help. People helped me to get off the street and I look at it as paying them back for what they did. So if you want to say thanks that is the best way to do it. One day you can reach out and help someone who is in need of help.”
“I will.”
“Good.”
“Robert what did you decide to do about getting the papers signed?”
“I think I should ask Mom to do it after I am out of the house. If I ask before hand it could get ugly.”
What we can do is go talk to Sally and see if you can move in as soon as you ask them. Then you can call your mother and she can tell your dad. That way you are not there and are not in danger of getting hurt.
I think that Sally should be the one to speak to your mother. That way it will be mother to mother. She probably will get further with her than either one of us could. Let me call her and see if she is willing to do that.”
I could tell that he was terrified but he realized that he really did not have much choice. His mother was going to out him on Friday. Today was Wednesday and things had to be finalized quickly. Even though his mother had kept her word so far and not told his dad I did not trust her to wait till the weekend. It was a gut feeling I had and it made me nervous.
I was trying to walk a fine line with him. I needed to help him get things in place but I could not force him into anything. It was good that he was mature enough to realize that even if he did not like what was happening he had to deal with it.
I dialed Sally’s number and she picked up on the 3rd ring. When I told her what I had in mind she agreed to do it. I just hoped that she would keep her temper in check. She did not take kindly to her friends being hurt or threatened.”
I asked Robert, “When do you want her to make the call. If she calls soon we would have time to go over to your place and get a lot of your things before your dad gets home. That is if your mother agrees to let you take it. If she does not well…we will cross that bridge if we have to.”
He sighed and said, “I guess we had better get it over with. I know we have to do it. Its just that as soon as we make the call my life from before is over. I know my family I won’t be able to go back…”
He was fighting back his tears as he paused then said, “Lets just get it over with.”
I could not help feeling proud of him. He was facing something that most people would just crumble under and facing it with courage.
“Robert I must tell you that I think you are a very brave man. What you are doing takes courage and maturity. Even though you are hurt by their actions you are moving forward and doing what needs to be done.”
“Thanks Mr. Brooks but I don’t feel very brave. If anything I feel like a complete coward. I don’t even have the guts to face my mom and dad. I don’t see how that makes me brave.”
“Real bravery is not like in the movies Robert, being brave means doing what needs to be done even when you are scared to death. That is the true definition of bravery. And by that measure you are very brave.”
He did not look up and all he said was “Thanks.”
But I knew he had gotten the message.
We decided to go over Sally’s. Robert had not seen the room that he would be renting and we needed to get that out of the way. Then he would call his mother from there. The plan was for Robert to call home and tell his mother that he had a place to stay then turn the phone over to Sally so she could give his mother the details.
When we got over to Sally’s they were still closed. So we headed upstairs to see where he would be living. Sally had cleared out her old spare bedroom for him. It was a nice size room about 12’ x 15’ and was on a corner of the building so it had 2 windows. There was a guest bath in the hallway so he would have his own bathroom. He seemed relieved by that till Sally told him that he had better keep the bathroom clean. She said, “I don’t care if your room gets a little messy that is no big deal but I expect this bathroom to stay clean. If we have guest they will use that bathroom as well. So expect you to keep it clean.”
Sally paused waiting for him to answer. When he realized that she was waiting he blushed and said, “I’m sorry Sally I will keep it clean. It’s just that I am overwhelmed right now. So if it looks like I am a little spaced right now, its because I am.
She gently said, “I know Robert. You don’t have to apologize about that.”
“Thanks.”
“Robert looked nervous and said, “How much am I going to have to pay in rent? This looks too nice for me to be able to afford.”
“I am going to charge you $10.00 a week and that includes meals.”
“You will lose money on me.”
She smiled and said, “Robert its not like there is no food around, this is a restaurant after all.”
“Sally I really appreciate it. I know you did not have to do this.”
Hey I get a dishwasher out of it. All I ask is that you save your money for college. If you do that I am happy to do it.”
“I will and thanks.” You could tell he was really touched by what she was doing. To tell you the truth so was I. Thanks to her Robert had a really good chance to make it.”
We went into Sally’s kitchen and sat down at the table. She handed the phone to Robert.
He stared it for a minute then sighed picked it up to dial. His fingers were shaking he was so nervous and twice he had to start over as he misdialed. But on the third time he got it right and I heard him say, “Mom this is Robert. You asked me to let you know when I found a place to stay.
NO! It’s not like that at all. I can’t believe you would say that. I am going to be renting from a lady who owns a restaurant and I am going to wash dishes for a job. Anyway you asked me to tell you when I had a place.
She needs to talk to you about some stuff. Her name is Sally.
He handed the phone to Sally. You could tell that it had taken a tremendous emotional toll on him. But he had made it through and now at least some of the pressure would be off.
Sally was continuing the conversation with his mother and I could tell that she was not very happy with Robert’s mothers responses.
Mrs. Davidson the way I look at it, you made the choice to kick him out not me. So in my book you are the one who should be apologizing.
Don’t be ridiculous. I did not even meet you son till this week.
Look I don’t have to sit here and listen to your pathetic self-justification. The way I see it you have two choices you can come to the lawyers’ office and sign the papers so I have the authority to handle medical emergencies and all the other things that have to be done or we can take it to court. Then you can explain to a court why you are kicking him out and then refusing to allow him to be taken care of properly. What do you think would happen to your precious
“reputation” then?”
Robert needs to come over and pick up his clothes. I can drive over there now and we can pick them up.
What do you mean this is all moving to fast, you gave him two weeks to find a place, its your timetable. We will be there in 15 minutes.
She hung up without saying goodbye. There was no doubt that she was furious. She took a deep breath and said, “We need to get over there right away. If I read her right she is calling her husband right now. So lets go get your clothes and have them out before he can get home.”
We got up and headed out right away.
For all that we had talked I really did not know much about his family at all. Now I was about to meet his mother I wondered for the millionth time how a mother could just throw her child out.
© Joseph Men 2005